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Friday, December 15, 2006

Worst Sports Owners

I have had enough of these (push) polls which ask who the most overrated player is or who the most overpaid player is or who the most obnoxious player is, mostly because there is more than just a little racism involved. Rarely do you hear such polls issued when a good old American boy is in the spotlight for something unsavory (Lance Armstrong doping?), although the Bode Miller fiasco was a notable exception. When the American basketball team - arguably the best talent on the planet - failed to win the gold in the Olympics it was because they were a bunch of spoiled, overpaid pinheads, yet when America's representatives to the Ryder Cup - arguably the best talent on the planet, including the two highest ranked players in the world - desperately needed the Heimlich Maneuver it was just par for the course, of course, since they had The Hook Up.

Therefore, I think it would be a great idea to take a good look at those who make the real money in the multi-billion dollar industry that is professional sports - the owners - and see who is the worst owner from the consumer's perspective. Owners whose teams perpetually flounder, who consistently jerk their fans and their host city around, who treat their players, fans, and employees as nothing more than disposable assets, who only spend money when they are guaranteed a rate of return that prescription drug dealer equities couldn't match, or who are simply too stupid to be trusted with the public's rooting interests. Here's my top 10 list of the worst owners in all of professional sports:

10. Bob McNair, Houston Texans - passed on Reggie Bush and hometown hero (and future Canton resident) Vince Young
9. Al Davis, Oakland/LA/Oakland Raiders - jerked two cities around and his team's health seems intimately tied to his own; micro-manager extraordinaire
8. Chris Cohan, Golden State Warriors - only 5 winning seasons over the last 20 years
7. Art Modell, Cleveland Browns/Baltimore Ravens - no Steeler fan can say anything kind about Cleveland, but moving the Browns out of Cleveland was foul by any standard
6. Robert Irsay, Baltimore/Indianapolis Colts - reinvented the quarterback sneak back in '83
5. Bill Bidwill, St. Louis/Arizona Cardinals - relocated and the team got worse, much worse
4. Wayne Huizenga, (formerly) Florida Marlins - won a World Series and then dismantled the team in order to maximize profits
3. Bud Selig, Milwaukee Brewers - the very image of postmodern mediocrity, never good, never bad; Selig ought to relocate them to Laodecea
2. William W. Wirtz, Chicago Blackhawks - legend has it that the Blackhawks were once a professional hockey team
1. William Clay Ford, Detroit Lions - no such legend exists about the Cowardly Lions; Worst. Owner. Ever.

Those are my picks, what are your thoughts?

Emancipated by Athanasius @ 11:00 PM

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