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Monday, October 09, 2006

Flavor Of Love

It is an amazing phenomenon in the human experience where normal people cannot seem to help themselves but reflexively stare at car wrecks. We've seen hundreds of car wrecks - thousands if you watch the evening news - yet when we come across a new wreck we reflexively, instinctively slow down or stop to gawk at the carnage.

I am reminded of this phenomenon as I have learned that Flavor Flav's train wreck of a television show, The Flavor of Love, is the highest rated show in the history of VH1. Ever. The only thing more sick than that is the fact that I'm one of the fools who can't take his eyes off of the train wreck - TiVo is the bane of Western society.

It is also a useful point of reference for the reality check that was signed, sealed, and delivered to me last night from my boy DP. I have always said that it is best to bounce things off of someone who thinks like you but who doesn't have a problem with telling you the naked truth, cellulite and all. There's this one sister that was brought to my attention back home - let's call her "Deelishis" - that I've been talking to on and off for the last month or so. After about 30 seconds of conversation I knew that Deelishis wasn't my intellectual peer, and after about 5 minutes it occured to me that she probably wouldn't be Flav's intellectual peer either. Nonetheless, Deelishis is a church-going girl who's trying to do right and gets the thumbs-up from my Mom, my Dad (especially Dad), and my sister.

There's also this sister - let's call her "Nibblz" - that I've met locally. She has a lot of characteristics of a certain former fiancee of mine - good and not so good - including an affinity for the Pittsburgh Steelers (pray for them, they need it desperately). I've not yet tested her mental horsepower but I don't get the impression that I'm dealing with a V-8 - more like a Prius. That and she's a biscuit away from Lane Bryant, and I've never been into big sisters - ever.

Thick? Yes.

Big? No.

The difference? Bootz was thick; Like Dat was big.

This is where Dave issued my reality check as we were commiserating over the play of the afore-mentioned Steelers. As I was explaining my options to him he asked one simple question: "Have you lost your ever-lovin' mind? Settle, and you'll regret it for the rest of your life, calling me at dark-thirty in the morning complaining about some chick who just doesn't get it." I know that he's right because that is the exact advise that I've dispensed over the last twenty years or so, word-for-word even. Nothing quite like having your own words smack you in the frontal lobe. This is why it is important to have someone that you can talk to without pretense, someone who can and will call BS on you when you're lying to yourself. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

What to do? Well, I'm clearly not going to be with either Nibblz or Deelishis, but I suppose there's nothing wrong with dinner and a movie here or there until I come across my Angel. All in due time I suppose, but in the mean time the flavor of love tastes to me like σκύβαλον.

Emancipated by Athanasius @ 7:15 PM

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As long as you don't pick-up a NEW York...I'm cool....But I'm with DP....don't settle....you will so regret it...I'm happy I didn't...cause I would have been stuck with a loser while Scribe...the love of my universe...would have been chugging along...less than 15 minutes away...probably also entwined with a loser....

Angel is on her way...

Posted by Blogger DJ Diva @ Tuesday, October 10, 2006 9:05:00 AM #

Yeah, a New York would be a really bad idea - I'm looking for a wife, not just something to do. Sad to say, I did date a New York in college - ask DP about her sometime.

Posted by Blogger Athanasius @ Tuesday, October 10, 2006 7:06:00 PM #
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