Monday, June 26, 2006
Workplace Romance
Is it ever cool to holla at a co-worker?
Here's the deal: there's this sista that I've been checking out for a couple months at work, watching how she carries herself, how she interacts with people, what makes her smile, just basicly checking her out - not a stalking, rabbit-in-the-pot kind of checking out, just discerning what she's about from a distance, and from what I see she seems like marriage material.
Here's the problem: we don't work in the same department, there's about 400 people on the floor, and there's next to no opportunity for us to interact for any business purpose. The only way for us to actually meet and get to know each other is for me to straight step to her.
Here's the question: is it cool to step to someone's cubicle and holla? Personally, especially as an introvert, I'm not even remotely comfortable with that. Factor in the possibility of sexual a harassment complaint and that seems like a no-go, but I don't see any other way of making something happen. I'm not big on putting my business out there, so to speak, but I'd like to know what you'd suggest, even if you've only stumbled over this site while researching slave escape routes. Am I making a federal case out of something minor? Do I just need to man-up and handle my business? Or would it actually be offensive to step to her like that?
Like Ross Perot, I'm all ears.
Here's the deal: there's this sista that I've been checking out for a couple months at work, watching how she carries herself, how she interacts with people, what makes her smile, just basicly checking her out - not a stalking, rabbit-in-the-pot kind of checking out, just discerning what she's about from a distance, and from what I see she seems like marriage material.
Here's the problem: we don't work in the same department, there's about 400 people on the floor, and there's next to no opportunity for us to interact for any business purpose. The only way for us to actually meet and get to know each other is for me to straight step to her.
Here's the question: is it cool to step to someone's cubicle and holla? Personally, especially as an introvert, I'm not even remotely comfortable with that. Factor in the possibility of sexual a harassment complaint and that seems like a no-go, but I don't see any other way of making something happen. I'm not big on putting my business out there, so to speak, but I'd like to know what you'd suggest, even if you've only stumbled over this site while researching slave escape routes. Am I making a federal case out of something minor? Do I just need to man-up and handle my business? Or would it actually be offensive to step to her like that?
Like Ross Perot, I'm all ears.
Read or Post a Comment
the short answer is...NO. it isn't cool. Work should be a refuge from all matters personal.
And yes I say that as I run my mother-in-laws to be business with my fiancee as my unpaid assistant.
But Thats a FAMILY business. I OWN it. It is a truth you understand the MOMENT I step on the scene.
As for YOU my oh-so-single and available friend. You must get creative with yours...
If you need help with that...holla @ ya boy.
I ended up going tribal - I referred it to the elders, i.e. old busy-body sistas at work who'd love nothing more than to hook up a SBM with a SBF before Becky gets wind of an opportunity for advancement.
Not that Becky ever had a chance 'round here...
I have a coworker, who met her now-husband, at work, under a strict no-fraternization policy. He just took straight step risk.
Ask her to lunch. You're off site, outside of work boundaries, and lunch is benign. It also gives her a chance to question your motives, or you to man-up...
Well i have been with my mate for three years now.. i was scared to step to her. We worked at the same place and i was like oh my god what if this or that happen but i just said ok i am going to do it. I am quite shy and i am not the type to just walk up and talk to somone but i did... I have been with her for three years now.... trying to make it more. Before that i was asked out by someone at work.... we dated for a while did not work out.. but no harrassment issues. It is all about the way you do it.... Asking someone out once does not constitute harrassment. It is all in the way you do it.... I say go for it.. just chose your words carefully... Innocent is good.... besides all she could say is no... Then you can just move on... Good look... You never know until you try.... Do it...
...AND she was on vacation this week - I'll update you next week one way or the other.